Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
