Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
