i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
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