That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
