Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
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She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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