There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
accomplished twins. life is a go
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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