i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
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