Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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