That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
