i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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