it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
