There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
