Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
