Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(214): View more from Texas

btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer

(214): View more from Texas

i owe you one

(469): View more from Texas

thanks for snagging those panties for me

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(214): btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer (214): i owe you one (469): thanks for snagging those panties for me http://tfl.nu/g3sv

Replies (9) Good night (1461) Bad night (724)
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(410): View more from Maryland

He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.

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(410): He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go. http://tfl.nu/s9bl

Replies (4) Good night (842) Bad night (1645)
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(810): View more from Michigan

kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.

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(810): kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking. http://tfl.nu/av4y

Replies (34) Good night (9057) Bad night (937)
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.

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(403): Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now. http://tfl.nu/qiaj

Replies (40) Good night (8968) Bad night (834)
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(913): View more from Kansas

Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat

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(913): Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat http://tfl.nu/os6y

Replies (29) Good night (6968) Bad night (1485)
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(+52): View more from Mexico

that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.

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(+52): that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time. http://tfl.nu/nkav

Replies (10) Good night (4712) Bad night (1531)
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(703): View more from Virginia

I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.

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(703): I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform. http://tfl.nu/4ptq

Replies (8) Good night (3640) Bad night (862)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.

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(610): I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top. http://tfl.nu/ogkq

Replies (4) Good night (1494) Bad night (671)
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.

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(403): They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again. http://tfl.nu/2yc4

Replies (5) Good night (680) Bad night (1383)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.

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(609): I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE. http://tfl.nu/xv21

Replies (3) Good night (1111) Bad night (584)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?

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(402): Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight? http://tfl.nu/u33p

Replies (4) Good night (1234) Bad night (524)
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(678): View more from Georgia

You is good. You is important. You is a slut.

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(678): You is good. You is important. You is a slut. http://tfl.nu/0cr6

Replies (9) Good night (1886) Bad night (1023)
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(562): View more from California

Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.

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(562): Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it. http://tfl.nu/uvne

Replies (0) Good night (677) Bad night (337)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.

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(610): My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night. http://tfl.nu/dw42

Replies (0) Good night (317) Bad night (464)
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(319): View more from Iowa

One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"

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(319): One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat" http://tfl.nu/szqu

Replies (2) Good night (588) Bad night (316)

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