The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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