i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.