Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(217): View more from Illinois

My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.

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(217): My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building. http://tfl.nu/he38

Replies (5) Good night (1036) Bad night (2006)
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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics

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(484): unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics http://tfl.nu/l12l

Replies (23) Good night (952) Bad night (2504)
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(334): View more from Alabama

Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.

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(334): Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love. http://tfl.nu/oh98

Replies (8) Good night (1776) Bad night (742)
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(916): View more from California

If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present

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(916): If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present http://tfl.nu/3ku6

Replies (2) Good night (1328) Bad night (576)
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(619): View more from California

Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.

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(619): Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public. http://tfl.nu/k68k

Replies (9) Good night (2835) Bad night (611)
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(918): View more from Oklahoma

I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.

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(918): I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever. http://tfl.nu/j10b

Replies (14) Good night (788) Bad night (3747)
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(480): View more from Arizona

I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.

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(480): I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it. http://tfl.nu/wwgo

Replies (5) Good night (1237) Bad night (726)
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(864): View more from South Carolina

Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.

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(864): Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype. http://tfl.nu/2egz

Replies (5) Good night (1669) Bad night (391)
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(970): View more from Colorado

Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.

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(970): Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die. http://tfl.nu/55zi

Replies (4) Good night (732) Bad night (405)
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(229): View more from Georgia

Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.

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(229): Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone. http://tfl.nu/eg8m

Replies (1) Good night (1087) Bad night (444)
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(818): View more from California

Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you

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(818): Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you http://tfl.nu/ksv2

Replies (1) Good night (443) Bad night (635)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over

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(717): if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over http://tfl.nu/5a4u

Replies (3) Good night (1365) Bad night (370)
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(541): View more from Oregon

Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.

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(541): Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears. http://tfl.nu/9wf5

Replies (1) Good night (778) Bad night (293)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.

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(402): Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive. http://tfl.nu/7nfi

Replies (7) Good night (629) Bad night (164)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.

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(+44): Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us. http://tfl.nu/xc1d

Replies (4) Good night (546) Bad night (138)

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