Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
You can't special order awesome
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I feel great
I just peed on a car
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Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
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But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick