Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Randomize
