just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
false alarm. still invincible.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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