Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party