Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
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