i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
