cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Randomize