By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
