hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
