..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
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Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
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Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary