ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.