Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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