Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
