god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
