i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
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you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
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Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.