I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
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there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
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Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!