I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!