Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
