Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
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Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
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She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.