I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
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Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
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I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap