she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.