I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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