So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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