And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
