Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I forgot how hot balto sounded
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize