I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
