Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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