"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
