honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
