Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
