I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize