Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
