so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize