Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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