I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
