I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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