Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
