So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
My underwear smells like fireworks.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
