And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i just had sex bonerless
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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