I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize