Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Mom said you looked used
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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