No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
She bit a glass in half.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
