I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize