I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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