New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
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