Pappa wants mamma naked
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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