I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I have already put on my inside pants.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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