Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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