And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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