even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
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His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
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Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Never joke about your clitoris.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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