His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
