We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
