Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
