I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
